This post is inspired by the 20 or so engagements and babies I’ve seen popping up and out in the past few months. I want to start out by saying I am honestly so happy for those people that are having these moments in their lives, (I’m expecting a few invites to a few events…). I am in no way judging you for the decisions you have or haven’t made…this is simply my testimony and Top 5 reasons of why I am WAY off on that point in my life. They’re also reasons how I don’t feel pressured to get married and/or am thinking of having mini-mes come into the world anytime soon.
1 – When I was younger, 23 sounded so old. I thought I was going to be engaged, living with my fiancé…doing our laundry while talks of a bun in the oven would be most likely happening….boy, was I wrong! LOL. 23 is like 19 in the real world. My daily schedule is TOUGH. Cleaning dishes, not shrinking my clothes in the dryer, making sure I clear my fridge of anything that’s expired… this is hard work people. On a serious note, I actually don’t have time to care about another human being in that capacity just yet. I work 9am – 6pm every day, then go to class 7pm – 9:30pm 3 days a week, and with whatever free time is left, I set aside for homework, yoga, reading or Bravo TV to keep me sane. Sunday Funday also keeps me young. The thought of having to even think about another person and scheduling time for them emotionally, mentally and physically is exhausting. Selfish? 100%. But this is the only time I can be selfish. I’m okay with that. Right now I have no distractions to hold me back. So this is reason #1 why I don’t feel pressure to settle down…I just don’t have to, nor have the time to!
2 – I go back and forth with the idea of a soulmate. Part of me thinks there really is that ONE person that is meant for you out there. Maybe some are lucky to find them in their hometown or state, but this is where part of me starts to not believe the soulmate idea. What if your soulmate lives across the world? You’d never know if you don’t travel, so you just “assume” your soulmate is someone that works out with you really well at the time? Or vice versa – your soulmate is right in front of you and you just don’t allow yourself to think that because you dream they’re in a foreign country. Maybe I take the word “soulmate” too literally because I do believe in souls, so to think such a sacred thing could have a counterpart is almost unthinkable. While I’m having this inner conflict, I think it’s safe I stay away from marriage at the moment.
3 – I want to travel the world. Period. End of story. If I can find someone that has that same desire, PERFECT, sign me up. But to stop my plans or put them on hold or on the backburner for someone who is hesitant just isn’t in the cards for me right now. Let alone an INFANT. I really do like being alone when exploring because I can take time to digest things and reflect and be on my own schedule. Sometimes I like to sit in one place for a longgggg period of time and people watch, or just stand in awe at something. I don’t like a set schedule all the time. Also, not many people are willing to drop things and hop on a plane. They rationalize too much and think of all the reasons they can’t go and blah blah blah. I just want to DO IT. No waiting for anyone, arrivederci boo.
4 – I will be a great mom one day, but that day is NOT today or tomorrow or for probably 7-10 more years, (maybe less if I can get my act together). I stalk people on Facebook, I obsess over people’s Snapchat “Top 3”, I go back and forth whether I should like someone’s Instagram picure… I think it’s safe for all parties involved that I keep my eggs in the basket for now.
5 – The thought of being with someone for the REST OF MY LIFE freaks me out. Say I live until I’m 80, (being a little hopeful here for an FSU grad), and got married next year…that means I’d be spending around 60 years with someone…so let’s do the math. That’s three times the lifetime I’ve lived now WITH ANOTHER PERSON. There are times I can’t even stand myself, but now we’re thinking of adding another human life to that equation??? I’ll wait.
To sum this post up….I’m just not ready. I’m not going to rush things I want for myself to match what’s going on with other people. Why would I? This is my life… if someone happens to sweep me off my feet and I fall head over heels and I have that feeling, then yeah, I will let it happen. I think when you know, you know. My parents got engaged after 3 months. I still wonder how they are so madly in love. They just KNEW. And right now…I just don’t know about anything. Once I’ve figured out what I truly want and am content with all the pieces of my life, maybe these things will become an issue. I salute those who are my age and have it that together to commit to someone for the rest of their lives and bring another human into the world. I respect you guys. I just know I am nowhere near where you are nor do I intend to be anytime soon. I guess I also probably have to have a boyfriend first to think about marriage or a lil’ baby…so I’ll shut my mouth now. Just had to give my opinion and share for anyone else feeling a little behind on the marriage/baby timeline!
Happy hour, anyone?