Marriage, Babies… Did I Miss the Memo?

This post is inspired by the 20 or so engagements and babies I’ve seen popping up and out in the past few months. I want to start out by saying I am honestly so happy for those people that are having these moments in their lives, (I’m expecting a few invites to a few events…). I am in no way judging you for the decisions you have or haven’t made…this is simply my testimony and Top 5 reasons of why I am WAY off on that point in my life. They’re also reasons how I don’t feel pressured to get married and/or am thinking of having mini-mes come into the world anytime soon.

 

1 – When I was younger, 23 sounded so old. I thought I was going to be engaged, living with my fiancé…doing our laundry while talks of a bun in the oven would be most likely happening….boy, was I wrong! LOL. 23 is like 19 in the real world. My daily schedule is TOUGH. Cleaning dishes, not shrinking my clothes in the dryer, making sure I clear my fridge of anything that’s expired… this is hard work people. On a serious note, I actually don’t have time to care about another human being in that capacity just yet. I work 9am – 6pm every day, then go to class 7pm – 9:30pm 3 days a week, and with whatever free time is left, I set aside for homework, yoga, reading or Bravo TV to keep me sane. Sunday Funday also keeps me young. The thought of having to even think about another person and scheduling time for them emotionally, mentally and physically is exhausting. Selfish? 100%. But this is the only time I can be selfish. I’m okay with that. Right now I have no distractions to hold me back. So this is reason #1 why I don’t feel pressure to settle down…I just don’t have to, nor have the time to!

 

2 – I go back and forth with the idea of a soulmate. Part of me thinks there really is that ONE person that is meant for you out there. Maybe some are lucky to find them in their hometown or state, but this is where part of me starts to not believe the soulmate idea. What if your soulmate lives across the world? You’d never know if you don’t travel, so you just “assume” your soulmate is someone that works out with you really well at the time? Or vice versa – your soulmate is right in front of you and you just don’t allow yourself to think that because you dream they’re in a foreign country. Maybe I take the word “soulmate” too literally because I do believe in souls, so to think such a sacred thing could have a counterpart is almost unthinkable. While I’m having this inner conflict, I think it’s safe I stay away from marriage at the moment.

 

3 – I want to travel the world. Period. End of story. If I can find someone that has that same desire, PERFECT, sign me up. But to stop my plans or put them on hold or on the backburner for someone who is hesitant just isn’t in the cards for me right now. Let alone an INFANT. I really do like being alone when exploring because I can take time to digest things and reflect and be on my own schedule. Sometimes I like to sit in one place for a longgggg period of time and people watch, or just stand in awe at something. I don’t like a set schedule all the time. Also, not many people are willing to drop things and hop on a plane. They rationalize too much and think of all the reasons they can’t go and blah blah blah. I just want to DO IT. No waiting for anyone, arrivederci boo.

 

4 – I will be a great mom one day, but that day is NOT today or tomorrow or for probably 7-10 more years, (maybe less if I can get my act together). I stalk people on Facebook, I obsess over people’s Snapchat “Top 3”, I go back and forth whether I should like someone’s Instagram picure… I think it’s safe for all parties involved that I keep my eggs in the basket for now.

 

5 – The thought of being with someone for the REST OF MY LIFE freaks me out. Say I live until I’m 80, (being a little hopeful here for an FSU grad), and got married next year…that means I’d be spending around 60 years with someone…so let’s do the math. That’s three times the lifetime I’ve lived now WITH ANOTHER PERSON. There are times I can’t even stand myself, but now we’re thinking of adding another human life to that equation??? I’ll wait.

 

To sum this post up….I’m just not ready. I’m not going to rush things I want for myself to match what’s going on with other people. Why would I? This is my life… if someone happens to sweep me off my feet and I fall head over heels and I have that feeling, then yeah, I will let it happen. I think when you know, you know. My parents got engaged after 3 months. I still wonder how they are so madly in love. They just KNEW. And right now…I just don’t know about anything. Once I’ve figured out what I truly want and am content with all the pieces of my life, maybe these things will become an issue. I salute those who are my age and have it that together to commit to someone for the rest of their lives and bring another human into the world. I respect you guys. I just know I am nowhere near where you are nor do I intend to be anytime soon. I guess I also probably have to have a boyfriend first to think about marriage or a lil’ baby…so I’ll shut my mouth now. Just had to give my opinion and share for anyone else feeling a little behind on the marriage/baby timeline!

Happy hour, anyone?

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Post-Grad Spring Break – Reality Check

As I reflect back on this week deemed Spring Break in Key West – known to some college students as the most magical time of the year next to Christmas and the day financial aid drops – I can’t really describe it in one word. I always try to maximize the fun factor in most situations, and this would be no different. Hello, it was SPRING BREAK and I effing DESERVED IT! Classes 3 days a week and 4 day weekends were getting REALLY rough. As much fun as I had slurping fatal 190 Octanes and channeling Britney on the dance floor, I couldn’t help but ask myself the same question over and over again… should I really be here?

    Initially, my inner voice said F YES. Get it girl, you DESERVE it. Not working yet and making no income? DEF time to venture on out and drop stacks while soaking up the sun. Single and ready to mingle? Yeah, I should be here. I should be dropping it low to Beyonce’s “Partition”. I should be taking jello shots because that’s the official thing to do on Spring Break. I kept telling myself to enjoy the week… I went to Florida State, I had a reputation to keep up after all. I had to rep my alma mater in the land invaded by UCF Knights and UF Gators, (it was my worst nightmare arriving to blue and orange everywhere, by the way). So as weird as it was being 23 years old and taking over the Key West scene, I just let things be and enjoyed the ride.
Disclaimer: Do not mistake my inner voice’s doubts as me not having a good time. You already KNOW I tore up the dance floor and let the drinks flow.
    However…. I just accepted an offer for a full-time job (yay! No longer a failure to society!) and living alone in Chicago has opened my eyes to so many new things. I’ve become somewhat of a homebody because I’d rather use my time to fully remember all these moments of life happening, (a rarity at FSU). I actually enjoy being by myself and learning things I never knew and discovering others that I’m passionate about. I know what’s valuable and worth putting time into and what’s just straight BS. I want to invest time in myself and my future and my well-being. And being in Key West watching 19-year-old blacked out girls crying because their boy-toy was taking body shots off some rival school ho just wasn’t my thing. (SIDE NOTE: I also got ID’d on the beach, bish what?! You couldn’t recognize my maturity from the rum & coke I was drinking out of a red solo cup?!) I was in constant limbo of should I chug my drink and get on the same level as these kids or just sip like an adult and get the buzz that normal adults do? Do you know how awkward it is explaining to people you’re on Spring Break but not an undergraduate? “Yeah, I really wanted to further my education so I went to grad school in a big city, but now I’m here questioning what direction my moral compass is pointing in because of the Mango Tango I just drank.” It was annoying to explain over and over again, and I was also telling this stuff to frat boys who didn’t even know their own birthday due to the high alcohol intake going on. What the F was I doing here? Then again, it was SPRING BREAK, who else was I expecting to meet? I laid on Smathers Beach at a distance watching girls funnel vodka and dance to Krewella (girl power!) while boys were shotgunning Natty Ices hourly. That was definitely me a year ago, but so much can change in a year. I felt like a chaperone watching all of these things happen. Should I join them or warn them the horse cop was riding around the corner, about to check for open containers?
    My inner struggle of being a fun party girl in college and deciding whether or not to let that girl out of the cage or show that I’m now a mature young lady in Chicago came to an end Friday. We were supposed to leave on Thursday but we met a group of older boys from Charleston that took us basically on an impromptu bar crawl, then somehow ended up at a white tablecloth steakhouse ordering NY Strips and bacon-wrapped scallops. Those are the stories I love to tell, the ones that aren’t planned and spontaneous but end up being the most memorable, especially when you make friends out of them. But I just realized that with the one official Spring Break I have left in 2015, I will not be doing what I just did. I want to plan ahead and book a trip to a place I’ve never seen before and explore this great big world we live in. (Also, that marks the fifth year in a row I’ve been to Key West… not okay.) I want to meet new people with different lifestyles and cultures. I want to open my mind and be challenged. I want to see things for myself. I want experiences. Honestly, I’m at a point in my life where it’s time to grow up mentally. I do not enjoy surface level conversations or being asked what type of shot I want to take or how sick the beat to this song is anymore.
    When I turned 21, I made a little promise with myself to travel to a new place where I’ve never been before every year. I’ve kept that promise and plan to keep it, and now that I know the worth of free time, I want to use it to invest in me and my experiences. Obviously, Key West is always a good time, especially when you’re in college – it’s the mecca for Spring Break. But I would’ve rather used that time and money to go to a part of the country I haven’t seen or embark on a road trip somewhere unknown. I did just graduate from the #1 party school, but part of my whole “growing up” process has kicked in a lot lately, and I’m genuinely enjoying it. So to all of you college kids about to start your Spring Breaks, party your faces off, please. But just know this post-grad girl in her stage of growing up will not be back next year.
“I’m just too old for that now.” 😉

Hello, my name is Chelsea….or Chels or Chelly

Hey folks. My name is Chelsea, nickname Chels or Chelly, the latter being a name that a friend made up in college and has somehow stuck ’til this day…ugh…anyways….

I’ve wanted to start a blog for quite some time now and finally realized…. what better time than now? Seriously, what better time to start than when you just moved to a big city, are unemployed, attend class three times a week and live alone? With all this free time, you can bet your bottom dollar the thoughts and opinions I’ve had brewing in my head are aching to be released onto the keyboard and into the blogosphere. The only reason I didn’t start one earlier is because I thought I had too many thoughts, ranging from how fascinating the human body and life is to how effing amazing chips and salsa truly are to the tastebuds. I always thought my lack of focus for one topic prevented me from entering the blog world, but I realized that all these ideas and thoughts I have make blogging PERFECT for me. I can vent, marvel, reflect, and talk about whatever I want and there’s a chance people might read it and possibly relate or at least be entertained? Sign me up! Besides, blogging about ONE topic…no thanks. If you know me, doing the same thing for too long bores me, and I somehow irrationally relate that to blogging about one thing…. so in other words, blogging about one thing is boring. In an attempt to gain some type of following and not have this be a smorgasbord of posts, I will have tabs at the top of my page to keep a clean, organized blog. I know, so adult of me.

So this first post is dedicated to all my followers (I’m saying “all” with a sense of hope that more people than my mom and sister will read this) that want to dive into the mind of a 23 year old gal riding solo in Chi-town. I’m not going to be one of those girls that blogs about the struggles of moving from a small town to a big city and how totes fab pumpkin spice lattes are (side note: I HATE anything pumpkin) and blah blah blah….I’m going to write about whatever sparks my interest, gets my wheels going, gets on my last nerve, inspires me and wows me. Hopefully you can relate, and if not…that’s unfortunate and sucks for me because I’d like to think I’m somewhat relatable and not that weird…

So this is it. My first post…cheers to blogging! (No, I am not actually cheers-ing, it is SUNDAY people.)

Peace and blessings,

Your girl Chelly